4.5 months ♥

Dearest Livvy, baby of mine, newest love of my life...

Aye, where to begin?? Surely you've learned by now that your mother is not good with deadlines. We missed a whole month there, and almost half of this one. But you've grown so much and things are changing so fast, that I figured I'd better get some documentation done before it all just slips away. So here we go...

Since you were born, you've grown five inches and almost doubled in weight. That skinny little frame has grown into healthy, expressive cheeks and chunky, delicious thighs. Everyone agrees you're basically the cutest thing they've ever seen; I can't go into a store these days without someone stopping to admire you. Your daddy and I are simply beside ourselves, we can't believe such a beautiful little person came from us. The Master Craftsman does only good work, but in your case, we're especially captivated.

Our Livvy, the Heartbreaker. (Daddy better get a gun!) :)

Many things have changed since I wrote last: you can roll over, front-to-back and back-to-front, for starters. You choose to do so very rarely though, as being on your tummy still causes you a lot of grief, it seems. The doctor continues to be impressed, however, and says your development is ahead of the curve. We're admittedly not surprised. :)

Things have not been so easy as of late, though. As you become more aware of your surroundings, you become more difficult to satisfy. Like the more you look around, the more disappointed you become. I suppose this is something we all face as we age, if we're honest with ourselves. And in your case, as expected, it's resulting in many long, sleepless nights and many more tears. But don't lose hope, I trust that eventually we will come through this, stronger and better rested. In the meantime, my prayer is that we can all be more patient and love one another well. (You'll find I'm much kinder at 9 a.m. than I am at 3. We're working on that.) :)

Difficulties.

But it's not all sleepless nights, either. The times you laugh and smile are so full of joy! Every day, it feels like our hearts may burst with delight, an explosion of colors and sparks, like the Fourth of July. Life has, in some ways, slowed down since you joined us. Although it seems like the days and weeks fly by, being with you every day forces one to notice every little part of every moment. As you figure things out and begin to put the pieces together, I have the opportunity to live it all with you, to experience the newness of it all, all over again. Suddenly I feel every breeze and every hot ray of sunshine. Suddenly every song seems more real and every new morning seems so fresh and bright. And I'm realizing, there's something about meeting another person's very basic needs makes us all a little more honest.

You're so small, and yet, you've changed us already in so many ways. Take my wardrobe, for example. Never did I imagine I'd so enjoy having a little girl to dress in ruffles and frills and bright, excited colors. But it's happened, and I'm thrilled, and suddenly I find myself picking out pieces for myself in the same bright hues. Suddenly I crave something bolder, more fearless, more unexpected.

Tiny and cute, indeed!

Baby, we've loved you so much, since you were just a secret. And now we're so, so grateful you're here, growing and changing and forcing us to do the same. Having you has been big and small and hard and joyful all at once, but always beautiful. Baby, you're our favorite adventure so far, and we can't wait to see what you throw at us next.

Love,
Mama.

A Walk in the Park: Observations on Parenthood

it's been nearly three months since our lovely Olivia joined us on this Earth, and there's almost no end to the newness and mystery of it all. experts we are not, but we are working to learn quickly and be present in each moment, to grow each day into stronger, more faithful and completely loving parents. along the way we've experienced so many new things, unexpected and wonderful, all in their own ways. so, for the purposes of documentation and reflection, i offer a collection of thoughts on parenting so far.

- keeping up with a blog is downright near impossible with access to only one hand most of the day. (thumb typing on the phone is even less desirable.) **update: i began this post around the 2 month mark, and it has taken me nearly a month to complete it. no joke.**
- dinner time has become a precarious dance, trying to get baby to be calm and happy long enough to get through a meal. more often than not, Daddy and i find ourselves rock-paper-scissorsing over who gets to eat with both hands that day. most of the time she's completely delightful and happy, but for some reason our teeny beeb has chosen dinner time as the time of day she most commonly likes to ruin our lives. it's fine, as soon as she figures out how to make Mama a latte, i plan on taking full advantage.
- my recorded life is now a series of iPhone photos and scribbled lists. parenthood has, through necessity,  challenged me to become more concise. (ha!) hope you're ready, folks.
- parenthood isn't always a walk in the park, but sometimes we get to take a walk in the park.

and have coffee! and scones! srsly, i have the best life ever.

- cloth diapering is completely and totally worth it. orange liquid newborn poo and all. and addicting! my newest hobby revolves around the basest of bodily functions, and yet i feel no shame. something about having an excuse to stockpile soft, absorbent fabrics and wrap my tiny beeb's bum in brightly colored, velcroed pants has me completely giddy.
- while pregnancy left me exhausted and uninspired, motherhood (despite its exhaustion and perpetual hands-occupying busyness) makes me want to do nothing more than make things. all day long. mostly stacks and stacks of fleece diaper inserts, prefolds and doublers. but there we go with the diapers again.

stacks and stacks of delicious diapering fabric, cut and ready to sew. yum.

 - i did not expect to hate breastfeeding. no one warns you before you have babies that breastfeeding totally sucks. we spent weeks fretting and wincing and crying, both the baby and i, before things got sorted out.
- i did not expect to love breastfeeding. the first six weeks were so overwhelmingly difficult, i feared i might never come around to enjoying breastfeeding the way so many other moms talk about it. but right around the 2 month mark things started to even out, and now i'm so happy to be able to be my baby's primary source of nourishment. in fact, i'm already started to dread moving on to solid foods and eventual weaning. why can't they just stay so tiny and lovely??
- becoming a stay-at-home mom feels like finally coming home after a long time abroad. it's not a popular move these days, but we're so happy we made the changes in our life that made it possible for me to be here full time. i'm so pleased to be able to be here with her, watching her grow and change and break my heart every day. we still haven't exactly worked out a daily routine just yet, which is making me twitch, but we're working on it. i can't wait to finally get good at this.
- i'm far more introverted than i ever imagined. so many moms told me they feel they couldn't handle staying home with a baby all day, that they feel they need to get out and interact with real, grown humans in order to stay sane. even i'm amazed at my ability to stay at home, without company other than baby, for seemingly days on end. we keep busy, for sure, which maybe makes a difference. and we spend plenty of time making trips to Target, our new favorite place in the whole world (they have Starbucks there! and family bathrooms! i can't imagine what more you could possibly want in life.) it's a simple existence, and i'm probably incredibly lame, but so far i'm even more okay with being a homebody than i imagined. and so far i'm totally okay with this.
- they really do grow up so fast! in what feels like the blink of an eye, our sweetest beeb has grown from very very tiny and so silly and skinny to a normal-looking, plump, happy baby. she's grown out of her newborn clothes completely now (except the teeny shoes. aww...) and is finally sporting a tiny belly and some totally delicious thigh and wrist rolls. we're falling more and more in love every day as she becomes more social and engaging. her giggles, squeals and smiles are more captivating than i could have ever imagined.

she's growing so fast, i find myself just staring in amazement, trying desperately to hang on to every sweet moment, every tiny detail. she'll be grown before we know it; there will be other babies for sure, but they will be different. they'll be tiny and cute and amazing, too, but entirely different. she'll never be this small again, and i find i spend most of my time these days just trying to drink it all in, every sweet-smelling, cozy little delicious moment. it's sad and somber and overwhelmingly joyful all at once, and it's the best life i could have ever imagined. ♥

on strangeness and disappointment.

after a too-short, but moderately productive, weekend i thought i ought to wrap up some business. you may (or most likely, may not) remember a tiny bomb i dropped in the middle of this post, not too far back. the comment i made was about the disappointment i've felt about this pregnancy so far, and while i was trying to downplay my whining, i did not realize it would perhaps cause concern for some readers (who, you know, read the things i write. silly me!) anyway, it dawned on me, after having attended 2 birthing classes so far, that i was perhaps not alone in this feeling. but at the same time, no one seems to really discuss many of the negative feelings associated with pregnancy. it's all diaper pails and coordinated bedding and fancy strollers, with the occasional mention of an annoying pregnancy symptom or discomfort. at least, that's the majority of what i've come across, given my limited vantage point.

that said, the following is perhaps a more articulated (i hope?) explanation of some of the less rosy side of pregnancy, at least as i've experienced it so far. this is not, nor do i wish for it to be, merely a list of gripes, or a not-so-subtle way of trying to fish compliments or empty encouragements from the masses. i'd just like, for once, to be honest about how things have gone so far, with how my expectations measured up with reality, with the hope that someone else might feel the same way and would be encouraged to know that they are not alone. also, it should be noted that all i'm about to disclose does not represent the majority of my feelings about pregnancy; in fact, i've had a rather delightful time of it. so while i struggle from time to time with regrets and anxieties, please know that i'm actually feeling quite wonderful about the whole process. it's been mysterious and captivating to be host to the creation of a new little person, and i've loved every minute of the experience from that perspective.

all that being what it is, i'm surprisingly content with our current situation. in fact, i've been happier throughout this pregnancy than i've been in a long time. not that i was unhappy prior to this, but there's just something about the expectation of new life that makes the human heart glad, i think. i'm feeling more in love with my sweet Husband than ever, for example, during a time i expected to be rather difficult and full of painful adjustments for us both. he, of course, has been wonderful through it all, and it's clearer to me every day how i simply could not do this without him. the more time passes, the more convinced i become that having his baby is the best idea i've ever had!

so what am i so disappointed about? in short, i had BIG PLANS for this pregnancy. i had been anticipating being pregnant for some time (something like 10 minutes... but felt very long to very-impatient me) and had lots of expectations. maybe they were foolish, but as dreamers do, dream i most certainly did. and worse--I MADE PLANS. i read articles, blogs, books about how to stay healthy and fit throughout pregnancy. i started running again (sort of, if you count twice as "started again".) i gathered advice from friends and family about the medical aspects of pregnancy, timelines for preparations, you name it. and then! ... i actually got pregnant.

still feeling young and optimistic, around week 20

for the first few weeks, i was merely slightly uncomfortable, but whatever bloated discomfort i faced was easily overshadowed by my intense worry and glee. the Husband and i were both pretty giddy about the whole idea; having finally pulled the trigger on this whole "family" idea was overwhelming, but mostly at that point just plain fun. but soon The First Trimester started. and soon i found myself overwhelmingly nauseous and outrageously exhausted. for weeks 8 through about 16 or so, my couch had never seen so much of me and my flower beds had never seen so little. i was down for the count, and it was NOT pretty. so there went my plans. just like that! just like i said they wouldn't. for i had MADE PLANS, you see. BIG PLANS. for running through the first trimester! for maintaining a healthy diet, plus or minus perhaps a couple small tweaks to account for cravings and foods rich in healthy, life-giving fats and calories! for sewing, for cleaning, for crafty preparations galore! but all. i did. was lay there. for 2. long. months. "i'll get back to that in the second trimester," i told myself. "i'll be feeling better then."

and feel better i did. just better enough to become more busy than i ever imagined. was pregnancy supposed to be this busy? why did i suddenly no longer have time for daily workouts? trips to the grocery store? laundry? dishes? where did all my time go? i've spent more time reflecting on this than i probably should, and i still don't have any answers. i'm not sure how it is i did not expect pregnancy to be as busy as, say, wedding planning. i suppose i expected to be busy during pregnancy, but i think i was picturing something more ... productive. instead, we suddenly found ourselves in a whirlwind of appointments, busy work schedules, overly ambitious home improvement projects and very little else. all our routine went out the window, and along with it our healthy eating habits, our regular workouts and our ability to keep our house even remotely clean. by the time i felt like i had time to breathe, i realized i had missed several months of regular workouts and no longer remembered what to even buy from the grocery store, much less what it is we used to eat or how i ever had time to cook dinner.

to be a little more brief, i've been terribly disappointed with how things have gone with this pregnancy. not because pregnancy has been awful or because the struggles and discomforts outweigh the happy parts (that's certainly not even close to true.) but because i once considered myself a routine-driven, capable, disciplined person. and suddenly i am seemingly none of those things. (on that note, please do not send me messages trying to tell me otherwise. you have not been at my house for the last few months to witness the carnage, you're going to have to trust me on this. plus, that is not the point here, i thought i mentioned that earlier.) realizing all of this has been difficult for me, to say the least. looking around, it doesn't seem like any other pregnant moms-to-be have so much trouble keeping it together. most of them appear clean, dressed and healthy. i think i even saw some of them eating vegetables.

so while most of this pregnancy has been thick with anticipation, adventure and delight, i can't shake the feeling that i should have done better. that i should have tried harder, that i should have maybe even tried a little. it scares me a little, moving toward such a drastic transformative life change that i feel as if i've lost all control. my only hope is that this time has given me some new perspective. or at least that it has given me a break between my life before and what my life is about to become. like a fresh start, i can pick up and start all over again. and this time, instead of changing routines, i'll merely start anew. so i suppose there's some hope built into this feeling of disappointment. a clear vision of what my life might be without a little structure, and a healthy helping of humility to spur me on.

atrophy

i have a friend, she writes beautiful words. some of her recent words read like a script in my head. these are the lines i've spoken, the dance i've done.

since an injury last summer, i haven't been as active as i would have liked. i can feel that my body has gotten softer, changed shape. my clothes don't fit. what i see in the mirror doesn't match the body in my head, i feel like i don't belong in my own skin. i can see evidence in places where muscle definition used to exist, but what's there now seems unfamiliar. the landscape has changed, and i don't know where i am.

workouts are harder, leave me stiff and sore for days. i am remembering what this feels like, relearning how to move, how to stand, how to breathe. i am surprised to find myself slower, weaker, less flexible.

i get the same feeling when i haven't been in the Bible as much as i would like. i forget things, i lose focus. like He calls my name, reaches for me, but His hand only barely brushes my sleeve as i breeze through the door. later on, i wonder why He didn't fight harder for me. i accuse Him, i shift the blame. but He was always in pursuit; i was the one who got distracted, who turned and walked away.

now, back in that wonderful book, i am starting to recognize some things. the words sound familiar, their message feels like nourishment to brittle bones, sore muscles, a weak heart. i see signposts everywhere--my handwriting in the margins, well-worn pages, notes from friends, evidences that i once knew this place. i lived here once, this was my home. it doesn't feel like that yet, it still seems new, but already it feels so much better than where i've been. like the softness of your own sheets after a long week away.

Paul says "I beat my body, and make it a slave, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified." it's a picture of discipline so purposeful, so complete. a subtle warning against laziness and apathy, a reminder to keep our eyes fixed on the goal. to run with purpose. to persevere.

pros and cons: double tights

it's a two-pairs-of-tights kind of day here in the single-digit Midwest. (AND WE LIKE IT THAT WAY. IT BUILDS CHARACTER.)

dressing for cold weather requires some practice, but to be honest, i appreciate the challenge. getting sick of winter already? consider today's topic: the implications of layering up on tights.

Photo via smittenbyliz.com

CONS:
- double the layers equals double the time required to make a bathroom trip.
- forgetting you must sit like a lady.
- static cling.

PROS:
- tights are awesome. therefore, double tights equals double awesome. (obv.)
- extreme warmth, without the bulk.
- cozy legs provide for greater wardrobe creativity and give warm-weather clothes a longer shelf life. ...er, wear life. whatever.
- feeling like a girl at the time of year when one might feel like a frumpy broken record of those same insulated boots and jeans, again.
- one more day you can put off laundering said jeans. again.

in conclusion, it's double tights—for the win!

---

in other news, it seems we've been doing a lot of winning here in Wisconsin lately. if you hadn't noticed.  ;)

Winter Cleaning

oh, the obligatory New Year's post. (as i write this, i realize that i managed to somehow avoid the obligatory Christmas post. whoops. here, read this one instead. it's way better, anyway.) lots of folks have written funny or inspiring New Year's reflections, but this one is so far my favorite. it lifts me out of this ridiculous tiredness i've been slothing through lately, and made me examine how i've sort of tumbled into this new year feeling very unprepared. blindsided, even.

we spent the weekend with my family, celebrating a rather quiet Christmas. it was wonderful, and in preparation the Hubs and i spent several days maniacally cleaning. it was sort of awesome, and i arose from the dust, as usual following these sorts of projects, with a fresh satisfaction with our house and our life. cleaning always feels like revival to me. or it could be, that in the little private revival i've been experiencing lately, that everything is tinged with a little extra hope.

i wish i could say i have only positive things to say about the year ahead, but the truth is, even in the midst of an exciting time of growth, i'm going in trapped in a very self-critical fog. so what you're about to experience is a bit of a year-in-review project, intended specifically to fix my focus and motivate healthy change. and my prayer is that that be our theme this year: change, as only God the Creator can implement. breaking unhealthy cycles, facilitating greater effectiveness, cultivating boldness, courage, wisdom and above all, love.

and so in that light, i give you this: a collection of significant happenings this past year, and perhaps a few goals for the coming year.

2010:
- 30 pounds lost. (5 pounds gained back. and this is according to the last weigh-in before the holidays. ugh.)
- more blog writing! this one, rather awkwardly, resulted in my Grandma printing out a seemingly well-loved, snack-related post and distributing it to the whole family at Christmas. yeah. so... Hello there, Family! Welcome to the blogosphere. wow, it sure got cozy in here fast, didn't it! ha ha... ha. (oh jeez.)
- first ski trip Out West. this was a humbling, and simultaneously thrilling, experience. this is when i start to think that perhaps the Rockies are God's country, just a little.
- running! in April, i began the Couch-to-5K running program, somewhat begrudgingly, and ended up falling in love with running, something i never dreamed would ever happen. this resulted in three 5k runs, all with varying degrees of success, and one super fun 4.5-mile Mud Run. all culminating in...
- stopping running! it would be unfair to dwell only on the excitement of running without acknowledging the struggles as well. in late September, i developed a foot injury and have begrudgingly benched myself since. this has proved to be an unending source of anxiety and dissatisfaction, forcing me not only to curb my workout plans, but also to wear only supportive footwear. i'm pretty sure the only suffering more horrifying in my life so far has been the lice i mysteriously contracted in college. this one hasn't made me cry or lose my mind or try to claw out of my own skin yet, but there has been much moaning and flopping around in a distressed fashion. for your sake, prayers for a speedier recovery!
- the Death of our Debt. no joke! as of spring of 2010, we are officially debt-free, not counting the mortgage on our house. we killed it all in a little under a year: 3 vehicle payments and several years' worth of student loans (we never carried credit card debt.) we're exceedingly grateful for Dave Ramsey's ministry in getting us started on a plan, something that, aside from getting us financially in order, has done amazing things for our marriage. if you plan on getting married anytime soon, don't be offended when you unwrap a copy of The Total Money Makeover from us. we know you think you don't need it; we thought that once, too. just read it. and then do it. you can thank us later.
- a new church home. this one has been tough for us. after moving to the Brookfield area, we loafed around for, oh, about a year or so before really getting serious about getting back into a community. not long ago i started to realize how much i missed it, and how much my heart ached for it. being ridiculous and cynical, finding a good church is always a horrible experience with us. but we're learning to love The Church, because Jesus does, and re-learning how to do this church thing all over again. it's usually humbling, but often rewarding; the distance has given me a more appreciative perspective, compared to the hater days of my youth. it's rare for me these days to actually feel like i'm surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, and i'm so excited at the chance to enjoy that, like new, all over again.

2011: 
- greater productivity, more hard work.
- shorter blog posts. (sorry, guys. it's a problem i have.)
- a better marriage
- a healthier family
- a cleaner house
- a greater sense of urgency
- a more effective life, as evidenced by a smarter and more intentional use of my time and my money.

and now, in acknowledgment of the total lack of privacy and anonymity on the internet, i expect not just awkward encouragement, but also some serious grief from all of you, when i'm seriously slacking. go right ahead internet, BRING IT.

always late to the party.

i realize i'm always the last one to figure these things out (yes, i'm still afraid of Twitter.)

but if you guys haven't already tried this site, you really should. coming from someone who's tragically and suddenly forgotten how to find good music, this is a lovely little buoy for your work day. or any other kind of day, for that matter.

http://www.ilistentoeverything.com

currently, i'm drinking in the Winter playlist. (duh.)  ♥

some times.

occasionally, there might be a day, or series of days all in a miserable streak, where everything falls apart.

sometimes the sewing machine that has been happily and faithfully sewing through leather all its life decides it's like, SO over sewing through leather and you spend hours upon hours trying to gently coax it back into working properly.

sometimes, after the aforementioned stressful hours, you throw things in your sewing room.

sometimes, you decide to take a break from sewing to dye a bear suit for the children's Christmas pageant at church. YES, THAT'S IT, DYE THE BEAR SUIT. THAT WILL BE RELAXING AND SIMPLE.

sometimes you regretfully realize that you cannot reliably dye a bear suit all one color of brown for the children's Christmas pageant, and should probably never be depended upon to do anything important ever again.

sometimes your iPod battery dies in the car and you have to drive all the way to West Bend (read: North Pole), listening to music on the radio. (HORROR OF HORRORS.)

sometimes you spend your last $10 bill on tipping your lovely hair stylist, only to realize the donut shop only takes cash. (sometimes you hold up a line full of hungry octogenarians at the donut shop while you write out a check for $2.95. )

sometimes you wait in line for 20 minutes only to have Starbucks serve you poison, masquerading as a chai latte with a shot of espresso, and make it through a very difficult series of traffic obstacles before realizing it, only to have to turn around and complete the challenge all over again.

some times are just hard times.

sometimes, it's good to know that someone is for you, and not against you. 



(song based on this.)

ya eat in the bathroom, ya eat with the devil.

sometimes i worry that the lady in the next stall thinks that loud plastic wrapper i'm opening is some kind of yummy snack.

(for the record, it's not.)

note: Google image searches for "tampon" are horrible and scary. just trust me on this.

10 words (on why I write)

His mercies are new each morning—we must document allofit.

(go ahead and hate for the cheater word. but this was it, and i wasn't about to argue. for a short back story on why i chose to take on this little 10-word challenge, check this post out, and for a little extra context, read this.)

10 words - preview

having been in a bit of a productivity rut lately, i found this challenge rather interesting. perhaps a chance to redefine why i started (and restarted) this silly weblog, and examine my intentions for it moving forward.

i don't have anything ready yet (will probably post when i have something, or become a fake plans liar), but in the meantime, figured i'd list. listing is something i apparently used to do early in my days of internet oversharing, and after having revisited some of that writing, i've realized how effective they were in summarizing what would normally eat up much more time (yours and mine). so here goes.

stellar:

- the Madison Mud Run. (very, very cold, but very, very worth it.)
- ribbed sweater tights
- being able to wear real shoes again, albeit with cushy insoles added.
- Halloween!
- Halloween candy
- Halloween being over, finally. (i work at a costume company. you don't even know...)
- running! again! oh, how i missed it.
- orchard apples
- Yogi Healthy Fasting tea. mmm...

less than stellar:

- politics. (at work, not in real life. the real life ones have been rather exciting lately!)
- plantar fasciitis
- Halloween candy
- gaining weight
- having to start working out again, after getting far too used to "resting" (read: laying around, whining.)
- hard things (that's what she said! ha!)
- earlier and earlier sunsets. (can't it just stay fall forever?)

and now, here's a dirty picture:

ha. fell for that one, didn't ya?

Tag -- You're It.

... which reminds me of that time we drove through the Sonic after watching the Olympics and they sort of forgot to give us half the order we paid for and we had to call the place when we got home, sadly clutching our 5 tots and 4 jalapeno poppers which we were left to share among roughly 5 adult human beings (seemed more like 12. 12 ravenous, adrenaline-hyped, fast-food-deprived adult human beings.) turns out the cashier who helped us out (more like gave us the Serious Sonic Shaft) was named Tag. that's right: T-A-G. just like where you look for the price on those overpriced sandals you've been salivating over. anyway, we explained what happened, they promised us two free double burgers, which we were free to pick up at our leisure. and remember to tell them that Tag was the one who screwed up the order. it was all Tag's fault. see? this is what happens when you give your children "unique" or "original" names. they end up getting fired after 12 ravenous, Olympic-watching freaks  lose their composure after paying for tots they did not receive. (it sure seemed like 12, anyway. what, with all the weeping and gnashing of teeth.) poor Tag. (we got our free burgers though! HA. in your face, TAG.)

the point is, i've been meaning to post something interesting for a really long time. no really, i have. it's just that, well, i'm really, really, incredibly lazy. for example, i keep showing up dressed all pretty for work, and when my coworkers wonder what big new fancy job it must be that i'm interviewing for, i don't have the heart to tell them that i just couldn't be bothered to put on pants today, so considering this dress requires putting on only one piece of clothing, it seemed like a pretty good compromise.

my point being, blogging hasn't really been high on my priority list lately. my priority list, which of course includes: eating carbs i shouldn't, laying around watching Big Love, giving up on the flower beds, and trying to avoid the sweltering, jungle-like outside at every available opportunity.

so when Erin over at Luck&Bliss tagged me on this funny little questionnaire game, i figured, aw what the heck. it's not like i've got anything else to write about! (let's politely disregard the previously promised Popeye recipe and Things I Wore In Europe posts. no, srsly. i'll get to them someday, i swears.) so, in the name of Getting Moving Again, I thank you, Erin, for your sweet thoughfulness (you always come along and encourage me when I need it most!), forget all my normal resistance to silly internet games, and present you, my readers, with a little low-key entertainment. Enjoy!


1. Is there anything you feel nekkid without? (aside from clothes!) Okay, here we go, cheeseball right from the start. But honestly, my wedding ring. It's completely grungy because to go without it to have it cleaned kind of drives me insane. Plus, there's that whole Poor Memory problem of mine, which when combined with an absent wedding ring, causes panic attacks all day long.

2. Books, magazines, games, comics, pieces of art that made you who you are today? My Big Backyard, Reader's Digest. (I'm joking. Sort of.)

3. Monkey or Robot? in the words of my adorable Hubs, "... I want a MONKEYROBOT."

4. Food you make when the poop hits the fan? Do you cook/eat for comfort? hahaha cook for comfort?? Give me a DQ Blizzard with Snickers and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups any day of the week, and I'm a happy gal.

5. How did you meet your sweetie? Is it romantic?  Folks, I'll never live this one down: We met at a Campus Crusade cookout the beginning of my sophomore year. I had just transferred there from a different school, so I could be closer to my boyfriend at the time. Hubs later told me he had been very much looking forward to finding out who this crazy girl might be that was dating that guy, and was very excited to meet me. I don't remember meeting him at all. I only remember meeting his roommate, Jake. (This would prove to be a sad theme throughout the rest of his college days.)

6. Do you have a life plan, or do you just sort of truck along? Maybe it's Dave Ramsey's fault, but I've lately adopted the (very grownup) mindset that having a plan is always better than not having a plan. But on second thought, I've always been a plan-maker and plan-needer (and fit-thrower-when-the-plan-is-abruptly-changed, but that's perhaps a post for another day,) to some extent, so having a goal, an eye on the future, and some rough estimate on how to best get there always makes me feel more together. Certainly there have been times where God has tested this area of my life, but I'm learning in my old age that the more my plans incorporate Godly principles and themes, the less he feels the need to give me a little poke. More than anything though, my husband and I are alike in our tendency to favor Things That Work, and so far, we have found that having a plan is definitely one of those things. (Now, if I could only apply this enthusiasm and planning to writing a blog! Just think!)

7. Would friends of the teenage you recognize the current you? Would you still get along? Oh, probably. Would we get along? Certainly. Although, I will say that in my old age, I have had more time to steep in my convictions and become more of the person all my friends probably suspected I was all along. (I really tried on the Tortured Young Writer look for a long time, but it's perhaps time to own up to my mostly Granny self. I had you fooled for a while there, though, right?! No? ... More eyeliner? Ok, nevermind.) I may have a tendency to attract people with many opposite opinions and completely different world views than mine, but even as I've become more rooted in my own beliefs, I've not lost the tenderness and affection I've always had for folks I should probably be fighting with. (But what are we fighting for, anyway? HA.)

8. Could you show me something pretty? Please? I stole this from S. of AcademicChic, via her new (and awesome!) bike blog, Simply Bike. (quickly becoming one of my faves!) she posted it among many other pretties recently; it's the prettiest thing i've seen in a long time!

 Via a.pic.a.day

Next up in the silly 8-question game? 

Some of my faves: 

Michelle over at BoltedMKE, because she's clearly too cool for this nonsense. 

Tejas, My Love, because well... The Love. It's overwhelming.  

A kettlebell friend John, because he and his lovely lady Erin are always there with a Like on FB, and an  encouraging note. (So many awesome Erins! I knew I picked this name for a reason...) 

And last, but certainly not least, Sara at Cream City and Sugar, 'cause I dig her MKE style, yo. :)

I stole most of Erin's questions, because well, this post was getting to be a bother, really. ;)
Here you go: 


1. Is there anything you feel nekkid without? (aside from clothes!)
2. Books, magazines, games, comics, pieces of art that made you who you are today?
3. Monkey or Robot? 
4.Vice food? Be honest, now. (It's Fair Week up here in 'Sconsin, if you haven't eaten something disgusting by now, you're clearly in the minority.)
5. What blog do you secretly swoon over, but are afraid that if you came out of lurker status the writer of the blog would suddenly be completely freaked out and file a restraining order against you? (not telling mine, ha! okay, twist my arm, it's Dores. love her style, love her jewelry, love her minimalist posts!)
6. Is it appropriate to sign out of Facebook and pretend you didn't notice that that person you haven't talked to in 7 years just instant messaged you? Your thoughts...
7. What kind of bike are you: mountain bike, road bike, or city/cruiser?
8. What food or fitness item, concept or practice do you most rely on to keep you on track? Where do you turn when you need motivation? What can't you do without in your quest for better health? (okay, so that's a 3-parter. GUESS I'M NOT SO UNDERACHIEVING AFTER ALL, HUH??) ;)

happy birthday, Beage of My Life!

yes, folks. today is the day my most favorite person in the world wiggled his way into existence, later to become the force he is to be reckoned with today. is there any greater cause for celebration? i submit that there is not!

if any of you know me at all, you must know, at least to a small degree, how ridiculously crazy i am for this man, what with this big, sturdy self, his yummy smell (while clean, of course) and duh, The Hair. but not only is he scrumptious and has the unanimous vote of my favorite hair salon as being The Guy Who Will Still Be Hot When He's Old and Gray (i prefer Regal), but he's also bright, witty, discerning and endlessly supportive of me and all my antics. like last night when he faithfully tried his best to grill what was, in short, the most disastrous attempt at turkey burgers in recorded history. AND THEN HE EVEN ATE A BITE. if any of you knew how persnickety he is about the foods he will allow into his body, you would realize what a remarkable sacrifice this was for him.

he's even taken to running with me lately, in my ridiculous quest to someday run a 5k. outdoors. i know, i know, it seems impossible. but with his encouragement and companionship, this has so far proved to be a pretty fun journey. and if his track record so far is any indication, have very high hopes for the future.

i'm so glad he was born, and perhaps even more glad he's chosen me as his partner and teammate. (how unworthy i feel sometimes!) i've never had a better friend.

happy birthday, my Sweet Beage! long may you run. ♥

listening to...

i made some adjustments to my most recent iPod playlist, and i'm pretty happy with the mix so far today.
here's a sneakypeek (click image for more detail):