and baby, i've never felt so in a tug-of-war with time.
they all say that kids grow up too fast, that you should be careful to be present, to never miss a moment, because one day you'll blink and they'll be all grown up. and you know what? they're not joking. (whoever they are.) but until we had you, we had no idea how hard this would be. i constantly feel pulled in opposite directions--one moment i can't wait to see what you'll learn next, and at the same exact time, i miss how you used to be. i can't believe how much i miss you; and it's not like you're an old friend we'll someday catch up with. sure, we can have more babies and soak up the joy of a newborn all over again; but we'll never see the newborn you again. you know, the one with the bobbly head and floppy sleeves. and skinny legs and turtle neck. and teeny, tiny, needful little fingers. now, don't get me wrong--6-month you is more charming and heartbreaking than ever! but we miss newborn you, and i'm starting to think we'll spend most of our life stuck between missing you and eagerly anticipating you. what a tricky head space, this parenting gig.
|Our BabyLos, brand new.|
oh, baby, every day you become more real and more beautiful. and every day my heart breaks again. soon you'll be crawling and we won't be able to keep up with you, i'm sure of it. already you've started this adorable pumping motion where you bump your butt forward and backward when you're on your hands and knees. and now you held your teething feeder all by yourself! the doctor at your 6-month visit was floored again at how fast you're growing and learning. again, your Daddy and i are not surprised...
|our Champion Sitter, always blurry.|
so baby, even though i'm a little sad every day that you grow, keep growing! we can't wait to meet the walking, talking, toothy you. and even though you're becoming so much more your own person, we still have a few more years to snuggle you. and hold your tiny hands. and kiss your sleepy head. and gobble your toes. just promise me this: that no matter how soon you crawl, or walk, or run, don't let those chubby little legs take you far from us. at least, not for a little while.
|Those aforementioned chubby legs. Obv.|