Tuesday, January 3, 2012

for my sweet beeb, part 2

you're almost here! every day that passes, i think this. often, i exclaim it, with ridiculous hand gestures. we're so excited for you to finally be here; it feels like so long ago we were barely thinking you up. and now we're so close to bringing you home, snuggling your little face off and loving every minute of it.

what a ride, hey? the eye surgery doctor was annoyed with me this morning because of you. he says he needs to see me back again in another 6 months. my vision hasn't changed, and my eyes have healed wonderfully. but they say you can kick off some hormonal changes, which are likely to take place shortly after you're born, and they want to be sure everything stays on track. but don't listen to him--we're not in the least bit apologetic about your arrival. in fact, the giddiness has all but overcome the nervousness at this point. we're completely unprepared! and if you came tomorrow (as long as you're strong and healthy) we wouldn't mind at all.

probably the best part of this journey has been watching your Daddy grow into your Daddy. he can't wait to finally see you, name you, play all kinds of monkey games with you. at first i was worried he wasn't ready for you; he seemed a tough nut to crack when i first approached the idea of introducing another small human into the family dynamic. but you should see him now! a nervous bundle of joy and anticipation, i've never seen him look so lovely before. the cynics and experts say having a baby can disrupt a marriage relationship. sure, we're not getting much sleep these days (i have considered moving a cot into the bathroom, but we prefer our current cozy, sleepless bedroom situation, when it comes down to it.) but i've never been so in love. something about our anticipation of you makes every day more exciting, more adveturous, more romantic. having just come through the Christmas season, i'm reminded that there was another child once who had a similar sort of effect. the excitement, the joy, the mysterious, boundless love. so perhaps this time is like this by design--a brilliant Creator using his handiwork to give us a glimpse of his perfect hand, a veteran Father teaching us what it means to be His family.

Christmas was, in some ways, unusually special for us this year. not everything went as planned, but all at once we started to come together as a little family for the first time, all on our own. i wish you could see all the beautiful Christmas lights your Daddy worked so hard on! if i could talk him into it, i'd leave them up a little longer, hoping that we can bring you home to a place so pretty and cozy and bright. (he may be uncharacteristically excited about Christmas this year, but let us not forget his relentless practicality.) i could hardly belive it; your Daddy finally caught the Christmas bug and worked harder than ever to create a beautiful Christmas for us (our own little Clark Griswold!) i just wish you could be here to enjoy it with us. guess there's always next year. plus, maybe by then we might actually have a little snow!

"We checked every bulb, didn't we?"

until then, Beeb, keep up the good work during Kick Daddy Hour each morning; he may sound a little grumpy, but i assure you, he's enjoying it as much as we are. ♥



lindsaykathrynn said...

:) love it! so excited for you.

mw said...

Yay - MAMA! So perfect for you.