pruning

a few weeks ago, we made our annual trip to the apple orchard. i'd been waiting so long for the cool weather, turning leaves and crisp, tart apples; it comes every year, but still it feels forever new and fresh, like i can finally take my first deep breath in months.

i heard a sermon recently about pruning and fruit. in it, there was a story about an apple tree that was overgrown and breaking under the weight of its own bitter fruit. it needs pruning, or it will eventually die, the gardener said. when he was done working, there was almost nothing left of the poor tree, nothing green. the tree has been traumatized, he said, by the severe pruning. but eventually, it will grow strong and bear fruit, big and sweet.

i watched my husband, along with his father and his brother, cut down a number of trees in our yard a while back. many were diseased and had died, one had grown awkwardly and was threatening to crush our garage. even some that were still tall and strong needed pruning; i watched with concern as they sawed off every sideways-growing limb and thinned the branches to let sunlight in. wouldn't too much pruning hurt the tree, i said? won't it leave even the largest trees in distress? the most mature trees, they said, might feel a little pain, but in the end they'll be healthier, stronger. the branches growing toward the sky are the most important parts of the tree. anything else is stealing precious nutrients and energy from the stronger branches, and threatening the tree's health. the trees need to be pruned, they said, in order for them to survive.

it got me thinking about my tendency to hurry forward, yearning for fruit but despising the necessary pruning. i don't think it's necessarily bad to long to bear good fruit, but i think better than that is an attitude that embraces the pruning and receives it with joy--a painful means to a beautiful end. i don't know if we have any say over what parts of us get pruned and what remain (although, i suspect not); but if i could choose, i'd like to see the laziness go. clip off the fear, prune away my short-sightedness. cut down and burn all the sideways-growing branches of self-centeredness and pride, to make room for branches that can bear good fruit. so the light can come in and grow a blossom into a fruit, so that fruit can ripen into something bold, sweet and nourishing. so that the harvest is plentiful and many can eat till they're full.

to the man who wooed me with a grilled cheese sandwich:

i can't imagine what my life might be like had you not smuggled that tiny electric skillet into the dorms illegally.

what a rebel.

(but i suspect it might suck.)

where to next, Master Chief?

my sweet Beage, you are my favorite in all the land.

(even if you do knock me out of trees, occasionally.)

but today especially,
i am SO glad you were born. ♥

(you crazy dino.) ♥

happy birthday, love!

it is finished.

a dear friend once reminded me, upon her own rediscovery, that all the best songs have already been written.

trying to prepare my heart for the heaviness of Good Friday, i found this one, again. and since i cannot say it any more perfectly, i'll merely let it stand on its own.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom.

huzzah!

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check 'er out!

big ol' thanks to those folks for giving howl. the spotlight for a minute. exciting times!

atrophy

i have a friend, she writes beautiful words. some of her recent words read like a script in my head. these are the lines i've spoken, the dance i've done.

since an injury last summer, i haven't been as active as i would have liked. i can feel that my body has gotten softer, changed shape. my clothes don't fit. what i see in the mirror doesn't match the body in my head, i feel like i don't belong in my own skin. i can see evidence in places where muscle definition used to exist, but what's there now seems unfamiliar. the landscape has changed, and i don't know where i am.

workouts are harder, leave me stiff and sore for days. i am remembering what this feels like, relearning how to move, how to stand, how to breathe. i am surprised to find myself slower, weaker, less flexible.

i get the same feeling when i haven't been in the Bible as much as i would like. i forget things, i lose focus. like He calls my name, reaches for me, but His hand only barely brushes my sleeve as i breeze through the door. later on, i wonder why He didn't fight harder for me. i accuse Him, i shift the blame. but He was always in pursuit; i was the one who got distracted, who turned and walked away.

now, back in that wonderful book, i am starting to recognize some things. the words sound familiar, their message feels like nourishment to brittle bones, sore muscles, a weak heart. i see signposts everywhere--my handwriting in the margins, well-worn pages, notes from friends, evidences that i once knew this place. i lived here once, this was my home. it doesn't feel like that yet, it still seems new, but already it feels so much better than where i've been. like the softness of your own sheets after a long week away.

Paul says "I beat my body, and make it a slave, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified." it's a picture of discipline so purposeful, so complete. a subtle warning against laziness and apathy, a reminder to keep our eyes fixed on the goal. to run with purpose. to persevere.

for those who have been feeling a bit unsteady.

a loving reminder of where our hope should lie: not in paychecks, governments, unions or even in ourselves, but in our good and sovereign Savior, Creator of all things.

"

Top Ten Healthy Must-Haves (Or, Grocery Shopping for Dummies. And Lazy People. Trust Me, We Would Know.)

ever spend your time in line at the grocery store surveying and evaluating the contents of other patrons' grocery carts? ... me either. how judgmental! i mean really, who does that? ... *ahem*

if you hadn't already heard, over the course of the last year or so, Hubs and i have made a real push for eating healthier and getting in really good shape. (well, when it comes to the healthy eating, poor Hubs sort-of just goes along with this, and is kindly compliant as long as i keep his daily dose of tortilla chips stocked.) while struggling with an injury since early fall, i've been rather discouraged with my progress (or loss of fitness level, as it turns out). so i've been taking this opportunity to really get back on the ol' wagon when it comes to eating well.

after a season of rather lax eating habits, Hubs and i were a little stunned by how easily we were able to get back into a routine of healthy eating. we realized that we had spent so much time over the last year testing things out and seeing what worked for us that we already knew what to grab when we went to the grocery store.

when people talk about the difference between dieting and a lifestyle change, i think this is key: finding your groove, figuring out what works for you and sticking with it. it's not necessary to eat the same foods over and over, and suffer a severe lack of variety; however, it is helpful to have a few staple items that you always have on hand. this way, if you're low on food or out of ideas, it's easier to throw something new together with what you have on hand, without compromising your nutrition goals.

i've been answering a handful of questions from folks lately about what kinds of things i eat and prepare for myself and Hubs, so i thought perhaps sharing with you some of our grocery staples might be of some benefit. (if not, too bad, i'm going with it. ha.) we're not experts or anything like that, but have sought counsel from folks who are, and spent a lot of time figuring out what works for us.

here you'll find a list of the items we continually keep stocked at our house, and are on almost every shopping list each time we go to the store. buying these items has become almost automatic for us, which, considering i hate going to the grocery store and have a Husband with ADHD, this is pretty handy. also, most of these items are pretty versatile, which is helpful for folks like us who aren't very good at planning meals ahead of time. plus, they're all super healthy, which keeps us on track, even when we're not super organized in general.

so without much further ado, i give you: our Top Ten Grocery Store Buys!

(in no particular order...)

1. Chobani Nonfat Greek Yogurt. you guys don't really know what a lifesaver this stuff has been. if you're being mindful of your carb intake, this stuff is basically miraculous. we usually get either plain or vanilla flavors, as these are lowest in sugar. in fact, both have more grams of protein than they do carbohydrates; the plain has 18 grams of protein per serving! and we use this stuff for EVERYTHING. the plain is a perfect substitute for sour cream, when topping soups, tacos, etc., and a great alternative to mayo if making tuna or chicken salads. Hubs sprinkles cinnamon on the top and uses it as dip for his apples; the vanilla also makes a great pairing for fruit.
2. Apples. our favorite time of year is autumn, when the local apple harvest is in full swing. but even year-round, we have apples in the house almost all the time. they're a solid fruit that keeps well, has tons of health benefits, and best of all: Hubs never gets sick of them. for a while, i was convinced all he ever ate was apple slices and yogurt. but he was eating something healthy and enjoying it, so how could i argue with that? these are an absolute essential for us, so when hunger strikes, we always have a healthy snack on hand. our favorites are Cortlands, Pink Ladies and Honeycrisp.
3. Eggs. Egg whites are an almost perfect source of protein, and although i haven't convinced Hubs to get past the "egg stink" and give them a try, i eat eggs in one form or another almost every day. usually, i separate out the yolks and only eat one per meal, using mostly just the whites. i try to hard-boil a handful of eggs at the beginning of the week, so i have a quick and easy protein source at hand when i need it. i'm always finding new ways to eat them, too. one of my recent favorites is poaching eggs in a skillet with Ro-Tel tomatoes, tomatillo salsa, black beans, garlic and frozen spinach. super fast to prepare, and super healthy as well. win-win! my favorite brand is Eggland's Best.
4. Kemp's Cottage Cheese. no, i'm not getting paid for any of these grocery endorsements. but i will admit that we're pretty picky about brands. we're kind of OCD like that. not that we're total snobs, it's just that once we find something we can agree on, that works, it's best to kind of stick with it. (also, we're total food snobs. there. happy?) i never ate cottage cheese until just recently, and now we keep it in the house all the time. it's a fantastic source of protein, and if you're mindful of your fat intake, this is a healthy way to satisfy your craving for some cheesy goodness. Kemps is particularly good, especially since their 1% variety is just as good as the full-fat stuff you can get at the salad bar. not too runny, and just rich enough to trick you into thinking it's not low-fat. Hubs eats it as a side with most meals (startling quantities of it, actually), while i prefer it with hard-boiled eggs, omelets or fresh peaches. random tip: it also makes a great mayo/spread substitute for pita sandwiches. yum.
5. Jennie-O Turkey. we eat a lot of tacos at our house. like, A LOT of tacos. or at least, taco-related foods, considering i try to steer clear of grain-y carbs more often than not. we buy 5-pound packs of lean ground turkey from Sam's Club and keep it in the freezer, then pull out a package at a time to make taco meat. when all the taco seasoning is in there, you can hardly tell it's not just normal beefy taco meat, and actually i've come to prefer this leaner variety over the traditional ground chuck. we make a whole 2.5-pound package of meat at once, and keep the leftovers in the fridge to reheat throughout the week. it's also perfect for chili, another frequent meal at our house (we like to cook once a week and then just eat leftovers all week, can you tell?) recently, i also discovered Jennie-O Sweet Italian Turkey Sausage, which has been like an extra-special treat that's been useful in broadening my collection of go-to recipes. brown either of these and add them to spaghetti sauce to top whole wheat pasta, or my favorite, sauteed zucchini.
6. Canned Diced Tomatoes. we also buy these in bulk from Sam's Club--both plain diced and Ro-Tel tomatoes with green chiles. we use them for making chili or taco soup most of the time, but i've recently begun using them to poach eggs in a skillet. tomatoes are obviously awesome for you, so these provide a quick and easy way to get some extra vitamins into any meal, even if we don't have fresh veggies on hand.
7. Black Beans. beans are clearly a great source of protein, but black beans are especially good considering their lower starch content compared to other beans. we use these in everything: tacos, chili, egg dishes, etc. we're especially partial to Goya brand, the low-sodium variety. if you're a vegetarian, or just trying to use meat more sparingly, these are a reliable and yummy source of protein to have on hand.
8. Spinach/Salad Greens. when i'm in the groove, i eat salad at least once a day, often with both lunch and dinner. we tend to buy boxed salad greens in bulk, yes, from Sam's Club. depending on what we're hungry for or getting sick of, we alternate between baby spinach and mixed salad greens (we especially like those ones that come in the box with six tiny heads of different artisan lettuces. so fancy!) having a salad base on hand at all times makes preparing a healthy side for dinner really quick and easy. keep chopped veggies in the fridge, toss some on, add protein and drizzle with olive oil and balsamic vinegar for a quick lunch.
9. Bell Peppers. lots of people seem not to like peppers, for some reason, but they work for us. we usually buy two varieties: green and either red or yellow. then we eat them with everything. no seriously, EVERYTHING. i usually try to slice a few peppers into strips at the beginning of the week, so we have them on hand for easy use. here's a small sampling of our favorite bell pepper applications: eggs, tacos, salad, chili, cajun shrimp/turkey sausage skillet. i also pack them in my lunch and dip them in hummus; it's an easy way for me to make sure i'm getting enough veggies, and the hummus is a great healthy protein source.
10. Nuts. nuts have gotten a bad reputation as being fatty, but if you're mindful of how you're using them, they can be quite beneficial. yes, they have "good fat," or at least lots of them do. we keep raw almonds, walnuts, pecans and cashews on hand most of the time as a healthy snack. sometimes we mix them with dried fruit and dark chocolate to make a healthy trail mix. but i also keep raw almonds on hand most of the time, since they keep and travel well. just a handful of these can make a filling and healthy snack.worried about price? buy in bulk. we find most of ours in the baking aisle at Sam's Club. (... surprise, surprise.)
*11. Whey Protein Powder. technically, i'm not sure this is really considered a food, so i tacked it on the end as a bonus. (this list goes to 11!) i have a protein shake almost every day. protein is filling and helps build muscle, which in the end allows your body to burn more calories naturally. we've tried a couple of different protein powders, but currently use EAS brand because it's relatively cheap (Sam's Club. bulk. duh.), not digusting (at least the chocolate flavor), and packs 20+ grams of protein per serving. Hubs likes his mixed with a little milk. i can taste the non-sugar sweetener, which i'm not particularly a fan of, so i usually add liquid coffee concentrate to mask the flavor. then it's like a delicious guilt-free mocha shake! every day! see? eating healthy CAN be totally awesome. :)

so that, folks, is our list of food must-haves. these may not work for everybody, but we've found that they work well for us. and yes, we do eat other foods not included on this list, naturally, these are just our staples. do you have any go-to grocery store buys? what things do you find yourself filling your cart with each time you hit the store? i'm always looking for new ideas for expanding our healthy meal repertoire.