Winter Cleaning

oh, the obligatory New Year's post. (as i write this, i realize that i managed to somehow avoid the obligatory Christmas post. whoops. here, read this one instead. it's way better, anyway.) lots of folks have written funny or inspiring New Year's reflections, but this one is so far my favorite. it lifts me out of this ridiculous tiredness i've been slothing through lately, and made me examine how i've sort of tumbled into this new year feeling very unprepared. blindsided, even.

we spent the weekend with my family, celebrating a rather quiet Christmas. it was wonderful, and in preparation the Hubs and i spent several days maniacally cleaning. it was sort of awesome, and i arose from the dust, as usual following these sorts of projects, with a fresh satisfaction with our house and our life. cleaning always feels like revival to me. or it could be, that in the little private revival i've been experiencing lately, that everything is tinged with a little extra hope.

i wish i could say i have only positive things to say about the year ahead, but the truth is, even in the midst of an exciting time of growth, i'm going in trapped in a very self-critical fog. so what you're about to experience is a bit of a year-in-review project, intended specifically to fix my focus and motivate healthy change. and my prayer is that that be our theme this year: change, as only God the Creator can implement. breaking unhealthy cycles, facilitating greater effectiveness, cultivating boldness, courage, wisdom and above all, love.

and so in that light, i give you this: a collection of significant happenings this past year, and perhaps a few goals for the coming year.

2010:
- 30 pounds lost. (5 pounds gained back. and this is according to the last weigh-in before the holidays. ugh.)
- more blog writing! this one, rather awkwardly, resulted in my Grandma printing out a seemingly well-loved, snack-related post and distributing it to the whole family at Christmas. yeah. so... Hello there, Family! Welcome to the blogosphere. wow, it sure got cozy in here fast, didn't it! ha ha... ha. (oh jeez.)
- first ski trip Out West. this was a humbling, and simultaneously thrilling, experience. this is when i start to think that perhaps the Rockies are God's country, just a little.
- running! in April, i began the Couch-to-5K running program, somewhat begrudgingly, and ended up falling in love with running, something i never dreamed would ever happen. this resulted in three 5k runs, all with varying degrees of success, and one super fun 4.5-mile Mud Run. all culminating in...
- stopping running! it would be unfair to dwell only on the excitement of running without acknowledging the struggles as well. in late September, i developed a foot injury and have begrudgingly benched myself since. this has proved to be an unending source of anxiety and dissatisfaction, forcing me not only to curb my workout plans, but also to wear only supportive footwear. i'm pretty sure the only suffering more horrifying in my life so far has been the lice i mysteriously contracted in college. this one hasn't made me cry or lose my mind or try to claw out of my own skin yet, but there has been much moaning and flopping around in a distressed fashion. for your sake, prayers for a speedier recovery!
- the Death of our Debt. no joke! as of spring of 2010, we are officially debt-free, not counting the mortgage on our house. we killed it all in a little under a year: 3 vehicle payments and several years' worth of student loans (we never carried credit card debt.) we're exceedingly grateful for Dave Ramsey's ministry in getting us started on a plan, something that, aside from getting us financially in order, has done amazing things for our marriage. if you plan on getting married anytime soon, don't be offended when you unwrap a copy of The Total Money Makeover from us. we know you think you don't need it; we thought that once, too. just read it. and then do it. you can thank us later.
- a new church home. this one has been tough for us. after moving to the Brookfield area, we loafed around for, oh, about a year or so before really getting serious about getting back into a community. not long ago i started to realize how much i missed it, and how much my heart ached for it. being ridiculous and cynical, finding a good church is always a horrible experience with us. but we're learning to love The Church, because Jesus does, and re-learning how to do this church thing all over again. it's usually humbling, but often rewarding; the distance has given me a more appreciative perspective, compared to the hater days of my youth. it's rare for me these days to actually feel like i'm surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, and i'm so excited at the chance to enjoy that, like new, all over again.

2011: 
- greater productivity, more hard work.
- shorter blog posts. (sorry, guys. it's a problem i have.)
- a better marriage
- a healthier family
- a cleaner house
- a greater sense of urgency
- a more effective life, as evidenced by a smarter and more intentional use of my time and my money.

and now, in acknowledgment of the total lack of privacy and anonymity on the internet, i expect not just awkward encouragement, but also some serious grief from all of you, when i'm seriously slacking. go right ahead internet, BRING IT.

Dear Running,

Oh, how I miss you, so! I wish that you had not decided to wreck my plantar fascia, and that you took place on a much softer surface, like clouds, or maybe pillow-top mattresses.
Even though it is so very cold outside, I would like to be out there, testing my winter lungs and experiencing all your fullness and life.
Instead, I am here, inside. Stretching, resting, and stretching again. Getting fatter, out of shape.
Miss me much? Maybe next time you'll think twice about stressing out my arches.

Just a thought,
erin.

ps - don't make me replace you with swimming. it's a lot easier to drown in a pool than on the sidewalk.

my first race!

yesterday, at roughly 3 pm, i got an invitation to run a 5k along the lakefront. my first race! in 4 hours.

 

"but i am so unprepared! i probably don't even have clean clothes!" i sure didn't, and i sure didn't have weather-appropriate clothes for the sweltering heat we've been suffering lately. i don't even own a pair of shorts. (or a cute running skirt. i gotta get one of those! so cute!) but i figured if i was going to do it, i might as well get tricked into it at the last minute, or i might never get around to it.

i had run about 2.75 miles the day before with my good friend Katie, in about 85-90 degree weather, mostly in the hot sun and wicked humidity. i figured i had run a 5k accidentally by myself one lovely Saturday, and this icky run only supported the idea that i could probably pull it off. The Hubs was SUPER supportive. he even came home, drove me to my friend Meagan's house to meet her on time to register for the race, crashed his computer and lost lots of important documents in the hurry to get out the door, stood around surrounded by bugs while we ran, awkwardly managed not to be the center of attention, and even remembered the camera when i had forgotten it! srsly guys, he is such a keeper. ♥

anyway! it was awesome! i ran really, really slowly. more slowly than usual even for me, more slowly than about half the participants over the age of 75, but i did it! and i felt pretty good about running the whole thing. even The Hill. even as i watched lots of people my age stop and walk along the way. even as side stitch kicked in at mile one, and i almost saw the whole thing slip away from me.

there was one woman along the route who was volunteering and cheering for us as we ran. she kept saying as people passed, "you're runners. that's what you are now." and as much as i am usually the one rolling my eyes at syrupy comments like that, this one really hit me. maybe it was the lack of oxygen getting to my brain, but that was so encouraging to hear. i was doing it! officially!

my friend Meagan, who spurred me on to race, even with so little notice, ran with me all the way. she, who has run marathons and triathlons and skis the top part of the mountain where the real lifts don't even go, stuck by my side the whole way. sharing stories about bad dates and awkward folks, keeping my mind occupied and my feet plodding along. and eventually the side stitch faded, The Hill was behind us, and it was all over! and i felt amazing! and i may have placed 600th out of 700-something, but now i have a time to beat! 34:02, to be exact.

"this is how it all starts," our friend Travis said to me as we got ready for the race. turns out he's right, i'm totally hooked! and i've already recruited a small army of first-timers and fellow runners to join me next time. i might even give them a whole day's notice first. :)

even my sewing has become more athletic.

i realized this last night as i was cutting fabric while standing. you see, the best area i have to cut fabric in my sewing area is on the floor, on one of those hard plastic mats people buy for their home offices for their rolly office chairs to roll around on, unencumbered by some pesky carpet. (ours was inherited from my inlaws, naturally, along with most other awesome items we own.) so last night i was trimming about 8 inches off the hem of a giant House on the Prairie skirt i was altering down to a cute, summery skirt. and as i cut and cut along my little chalk line, i realized i was not sitting or kneeling on the floor as usual, but standing, in Row or Wall Sit position, carefully slicing through my fabric as if this was of course the way most people cut their fabric. add this to the list of strange habits i've accumulated since starting to work out with Ryan and Meagan.

anyway! last night i finally let go of the safety, security and TV screen of my beloved treadmill and convinced my husband to go running with me. OUTSIDE. we did 2 miles plus a touch of warm-up and cool-down walking, and a couple minutes walking in between miles. it went pretty well, considering all the blisters and trickery. yeah, BLISTERS! i've never had blisters from running before, not ever, not even once. from hiking, maybe. or wearing shoes inappropriate for the occasion. but never from running. not even in my Not Running Shoes. but yesterday there were blisters. but nothing was quite as embarrassing as my sweet husband's challenge to improve my already quite impressive 12-minute mile (har har.) he was so encouraging! and ran with me all the way! pushing my pace, cheering me on. "we're at 7 minutes so far! i think you can finish this mile in under 10! let's do it!" and as i huffed and puffed and plodded up the final small hill and rounded the corner, i gasped "what's my time? what's my time?" "... *sigh*." "what? what is it?" he hung his head a little. "12 minutes."

for all you planning on signing up for a 5k race with me anytime in the future, keep this story in mind.

so in celebration of my very brave Running Outside, here's a peek at my food journal from yesterday. i had  a pretty good day, considering it was the first day after a long weekend, which usually means i'm disorganized and not quite ready for the week ahead. i think it might have been because i felt so guilty for eating ALL THAT JALAPENO POPPER DIP on Memorial Day. i wasn't going to tell the internet about that, but my shame over eating something (SO MUCH of something) containing mayonnaise (horror of horrors!) took over and now it's too late.

6/1/10
Supplements: pro-biotics, post-workout recovery
Activity: ran 2 miles outside w/ Adam! walked for 2-3 mins between each mile

Meal 1:    oatmeal topped w/ cinnamon & 1 white peach, sliced
Meal 2:    banana
Meal 3:    OMG SO HUNGRY MUST HAVE MORE PROTEIN EARLY IN THE DAY. 1/2 leftover grilled, marinated chicken breast w/ avocado, romaine salad w/ tomatoes, red onion, cucumbers & balsamic vinaigrette
Meal 4:    almonds, carrots
Meal 5:    burger w/ feta, black bean salsa & avocado, huge romaine salad w/ tomatoes, cucumber, red onion & homemade healthy ranch dressing
Meal 6:    1/2 glass unsweetened chocolate almond milk